dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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