I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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