living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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