I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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