I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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