blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
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I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
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Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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