Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
