So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
