Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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