Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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