Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
