You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just want nice things and good sex
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
