It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize