A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
