Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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