D3 body, D1 cock
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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