I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
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i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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