So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
