I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
