i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
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I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
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We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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