i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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