so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
