You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize