we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
