when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
