What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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