the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
