onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
