She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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