hell yes lets make some ravioli
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
