i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro