we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
