I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
