butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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