i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
