real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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