great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
