she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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