Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
