dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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