Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
