I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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