doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
