I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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