I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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