I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Im part way to drunk.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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