I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
