so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
