You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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