OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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