He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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