In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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