So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize