All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
