So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
