ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
