hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm too high and old for this...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize