I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize