butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
