the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
