I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize